Recently as I was preparing dinner at my aunt’s house, I began talking to God. I thanked Him for the time I was able to spend with my family. My cousin is no longer with us, and the pain of her absence emerges with a vengeance during the holiday season. Not only did my aunt lose her only daughter, but years earlier in a biking accident, she also lost her only son.
As I was leaning over the stove and engaging in conversation with my Creator, I said, “Lord, she lost both children. I cannot even begin to fathom what that must be like. I literally cannot even begin to wrap my understanding around that.” The Holy Spirit then spoke. He said, “I’ve lost so many children too, because they refuse to love me.”
God’s powerful response shook me to my very core! It revealed that He truly does understand what we experience when we lose someone very special. Imagine how much more sorrow Jesus must endure when He loses the very person He breathed into existence!
Princess, the Lord shares in our pain, and He experiences the various dimensions of our sufferings (Hebrews 4:15). In the midst of our hardships, we are promised the comfort of the Holy Spirit who brings God’s presence near (John 14:16-23).
God has recently called me into a very quiet and focused season. He released His presence in a dream and instructed me to resign from my career as a Social Worker. He proclaimed that I trust Him financially as I fully embrace my enrollment into seminary. Through the power of faith, I obeyed.
This new season is truly a blessing and has already resulted in priceless growth; however, it still encompasses its own challenges. There have been moments where I’ve contemplated reopening doors, that I knew should remain shut, in an attempt to hold onto anything familiar. The Lord is stripping me of previous comforts and making room for His fruit to flourish. I am truly learning what it is like to solely rely on my King. This new journey involves unknown territory, but the belt of truth reminds me that God has already gone before me (Deuteronomy 31:8).
I imagine I feel similar to what the Israelites must have felt like after Moses obeyed God’s call and delivered them from Pharaoh’s wrath, with the intent of leading them into the promised land following reconciliation with their Promiser. The desert was a tool to prepare them for the blessing ahead. It was a season meant for equipping, preparation, and growth. Unlike the Israelites, I refuse to allow a journey that was originally created to last only 11 days, endure for 40 years due to disobedience. After praying in the Spirit and receiving a revelation that this particular season is the foundation to my call, I am ready to yield to the Holy Spirit.
On New Year’s Eve, I was tempted to exhibit past behaviors due to an overabundance of overwhelming feelings which resulted in anguish. I actually contemplated celebrating the coming of the new year in a bar, but knowing that unnecessary temptations would arise, I chose to go where the power was; to church.
God undeniably made Himself known that night, and a prophetic word was given: “God is making room for something to bloom. God is pruning you so your heart is right. You’re focusing on your hardships, but that’s not the big picture. That’s the picture that the enemy is painting. Stay committed because you’re about to walk into something big. Don’t give up on God, because He won’t give up on you! He’s keeping those blessings until their time of release.”
My eyes flooded with tears, and I genuinely thanked the Lord for assuring me of His goodness and faithfulness. I brought in the new year praising Jesus and watching people fall to the floor under His mighty presence. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to celebrate the coming of the new year any other way.
Princess, you are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)! Let 2017 remind you that change can be a very beautiful thing. You have been blessed with more opportunity to share God’s glory and to bask in His presence. You cannot experience a new you in this new year without the renewal of your mind (Romans 12:2). Princess, God’s immeasurable love was revealed to me as I was cooking sweet potatoes. You are precious in His sight. Though He has already lost so many children, He doesn’t want to lose you too. Victory already knows your name. You are simply walking this walk to learn whatever it is Christ is trying to teach you. Let this new year remind you that your struggle is incomparable to the glory that awaits.